Amsterdam: sex, drugs and the Hard Rock Cafe

Wow. What a weekend. (Four days since it was a long weekend). The trip to Amsterdam was a big success I think. Firstly, the city is completely bizarre. It's the strangest mix of sex, drugs and culture. I'll try tackle each of the above individually.

First off, the drugs (marijuana). God its seriously everywhere. Coffeshops can be found usually just by glancing vaguely at your surroundings. It gets smoked a bit in the street as well so I'm pretty sick of the smell by now. The streets are so dirty. Maybe I've just been spoiled by the relatively clean Belgian and New Zealand streets, but Amsterdams streets were shocking. Have to see it to believe it. I concluded that the reason for this can be attributed to just about the whole city getting high, getting the munchies and heading off to the closest fast food joint (joint, haha get it get it get it???). Once the trash cans are filled the gutter is apparently the next best thing. So much weed merchandise in the tourist shops as well. Think of any touristy gimmick that you can buy. They probably have the same thing, except the weed version. Like actually.

The sex. Well, I can now say, I went to Amsterdam, and I went to the redlight district. Found it pretty strange. The prostitutes are all standing on display in windows down the street. Talk about window shopping eh.  They have loads of 'live pornos' in between all the prostitutes as well. A slightly odd feeling to walk down a street knowing that there are people all around you having sex - and some are being watched! Oh, I went to the sex museum. One of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Glorified porn from way back. People keep telling me how much more conservative things were back in the 50's... I think not. Those horny oldies.

Elise is a bitch.  a lovely person.


The culture. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "Thank god, finally, the exciting stuff!" Boy do I have a treat for you guys... Well... I'm afraid its going to be a bit of an anti-climax, because the museums I saw were amazing, but not exactly the kind of stuff that translates well into blogging. So I'll just say that I went to the Rijksmuseum, the Van Gogh museum and the Anne Frank museum (the house where they hid). Without going on about it too much, (you can relax, I really am not going to ramble about it) the Rijksmuseum was by far the best - the history had me sold pretty much. They had old weapons on the display. God. The things I would have done to own them. Terrible things. Disgusting things. But it would be worth it.. Probably.

While I was there we went to the Hard Rock Cafe. It was really good - always get such good service there. I mean, you actually get the impression that the waitresses like you. Maybe they were just smiling because they spat in my food or something.Still, you come out of that place feeling like you've had a good time you know. Plus the food is good, and the prices weren't too bad by European standards. The music is always pretty decent as well - although at one point they had the Ting Tings on, which really lost them some credibility. They still came out pretty well though.  - Got some merchandise as well. I got a shirt which apprently confirms for all observers that I have, indeed, been to the Hard Rock Cafe in Amsterdam .Despite the cynical tone of that last sentence I actually think its really cool- I mean if you're going to get a Hard Rock shirt, where better to get it from right? (Its a rhetorical question but if you genuinely have a better place then let me know, I'll make it my life ambition to but a shirt there.. I'll think about it anyway..)

Ah yes, the John Malkovich play. Firstly, I have to correct myself, its called the Infernal Comedy, not the Divine Comedy as i previously stated. Back to impromptu and highly acclaimed reviewing. Generally pretty interesting.  The play essentially could be divided into two sections - the bits with John doing his thing (it was essentially a one man show so only he spoke), and these two chicks who sung opera when thy felt the burning desire. My problem was that they felt the burning desire way too bloody much. I like to consider myself as vaguely cultured (don't laugh ok), but 10 - 15 mins of unintelligible opera is simply too much when nothing else is happening. The John Malkovich part was great. He acted incredibly well - I actually found it  little unsettling as I struggled to tell where John Malkovich ended and his murderer character began.

That's all for my update, wishing you all well. I feel lik I should be singing out with some profound statement or amusingly altered quote but my mind is empty at present so you're being spared... for now...

So long fair people

Return to Paris and other curious ailments

12 may 2010

I've had a busy last few days. Where to begin.. Ah yes, return to Paris. It was a really cool trip, some things I'd already seen, some things I hadn't, so all in all it was pretty good. Hectic scheduale though. We really didn't stop all saturday. The Sunday was the best I think. We did the cycling tour, which surpised me by being the highlight of the trip. Had a really good tour guide who took us to a lot of really cool old places in the city centre. Most importantly, I didn't kill anyone with my bike (mostly). By the end of it I was still breathing as well so I can't complain there. The people were pretty cool as well. Didn't know a soul before the trip but got passed that fairly quickly.

On Sunday evening I got back to Turnhout around 9.30ish and started watching a tv series called Carnivale (I think thats what its called anyway). So far I really like it, its really dark and strange, which is awesome. Keen to see more.

On Monday night I stayed in Antwerp with Bert to see a few people for a few drinks etc. Now bear with me, this is very exciting news.  The Irish Times (our regular bar) sells polo shirts with Irish Stout and beer logos on it, as well as the Irish Times logo. Naturally we'd being eyeing those shirts up for quite some time... I thought to myself, tonight is the night. So we finished off our pints and went and sheepishly asked the bartender if we could buy the shirts.. I'm pretty sure we were the only people to ever buy them because he looked a tad confused. The kinda look which, with a few subtle facial expressions, calmly inquires as to how much we've had to drink. Well, I am proud to say that this magnificent purchase was the result of a great deal of sober thought and consideration. Anyway, so now I have this shirt, which looks awesome by the way. Although it does look like we're staff from the bar. I'm sure I can find a way to make that work to my advantage. Some mildly entertaining but completely impractical plan which I will never carry out in reality.  Sounds good.

Tomorrow I'm off to Amsterdam until Sunday. Going to try see the Anne Frank museum plus some flowers at my mothers behest (God, I was 100% sure that was a word until I started rereading it). 

Tonight I'm going to see John Malkovich in a play called "The Divine Comedy" (thats probably the name...). I'm not entirely sure what its about but hell, its got John Malkovich in it so I'm keen to see what its like.

Also for anyone who hasn't noticed, at the bottom of my blog I'm now posting random explosm comics which I change every so often, so if you feel the need, then have a look. Laugh muchly. Appreciate me more. Send me flowers (nothing overly scented please), or otherwise find ways of making me feel slightly more meaningful. Yeah.....

So Elise wants me to massage her shoulders. That crazy woman. Her and her demands.

Ok so I just massaged her shoulders.. oh I'm a sucker for trying to get people to stop whining at me.

All for now, peace people

Links, updates and some smelly person

5 may 2010

With an efficiency I think surprised us all, I've managed to add some extra features to the blog. Nothing too fancy or anything, but you may have noticed there is now a Facebook button, a Digg button and a Stumbleupon button. If you feel the need to use these, well, awesome. If you don't then I'll have to seriously re-evaluate my life. (Please use them, I've come to realise that life re-evaluation is a drawn out and painful process much likened to sawing off a limb with a spoon and I really don't want to go through that again, no matter how well polished the silverware may be).

So, back to blogging. Had to stay a little later in Antwerp last night to wait (with Bert) for Fleur to get back from her filming. Think she was filming youthful women frolicking around or something (I'm not actually joking). In any case when she did get back we decided to go for dinner at this really good place just around the corner from work, at Berts recommendation.
A few beautiful words for you: "all you can eat ribs." They were actually really good as well. Juicy, meaty, saucy and just generally magnificent. (ignore possible sexual references in that last sentence, for a change it really wasn't intentional)  I did however, make sweet, sweet love to those ribs... Emotionally speaking.

I'm pretty excited about going back to Paris this weekend. It's going to be with the exchange students who are on the school based program here. I've never met any of them before so it should be interesting, especially considering that none of the volunteers are going at all. Considering they're all on the school-based program, their Dutch is probably reasonable by now so I have a feeling I'm going to look a little stupid (more than usual). I'm sure it'll be cool though. Busy to the max.

Anyway, here's a stupid game for you play if you wish. Its about a troublesome cat who encounters some problems in its life. And you have to create the problems. Sounds like fun right? Well its actually a pretty mediocre time waster. But play it anyway.

Okay, this game is hilariously disgusting/weird. It's a sex ed game from England. Check it out, it'll make you cringe/chuckle. You don't have to finish the game, just play it for a bit to get the general idea. Make sure you get some questions wrong as well as right, both produce interesting effects.  God, the things people do to educate others about sex. What...um.. heroes?

I would be having my Dutch lesson today, but they finished last week. I'm actually kinda sad about this because it means I won't get to see the other volunteers nearly as much. Which really sucks. It was a nice break in the week as well. I guess I'll have to occupy my mind with other things. Work, complicating my life in frustrating ways, working on the blog etc etc.

Oh yes, yesterday someone smelled quite bad on the train. I was somewhat uncomfortable.
That is all

Update

4 may 2010

This is more of an update blog than my usual rambling blog due to a healthy mix of laziness and lack of time. 

The train was 30mins late this morning. God knows why. Or maybe he doesn't. Not sure if they let him/her know about that kinda thing.

Karen says I should acknowledge that I'm her bitch. She wants me to go buy her a diet coke. If she asked for a normal coke I would probably consider it. I just don't see the point in drinking diet coke. I mean if you're going to drink something bad, at least do it in the tastiest way possible right?

I've been trying to change some things on my blog homepage - add some extra stuff, without much success. Its using the html so its not as simple as the other stuff. Not for my technologically challenged mind anyway. I'll see if I can get it right at some point soon.

I add new links fairly often (somewhere on the right hand side of this page) so if you don't already know them then check them out, most are pretty cool.

So I'm generally thinking of doing something new with the blog - layout and otherwise. Make it a bit more dynamic. This all largely depends on my technical abilities however and so may never come to pass. But time will tell.


Thats all for today, blog you later homies