About Me

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Antwerpen, Belgium
I'm a New Zealander living in Belgium for 6 months

Monday, May 17, 2010

Amsterdam: sex, drugs and the Hard Rock Cafe

Wow. What a weekend. (Four days since it was a long weekend). The trip to Amsterdam was a big success I think. Firstly, the city is completely bizarre. It's the strangest mix of sex, drugs and culture. I'll try tackle each of the above individually.

First off, the drugs (marijuana). God its seriously everywhere. Coffeshops can be found usually just by glancing vaguely at your surroundings. It gets smoked a bit in the street as well so I'm pretty sick of the smell by now. The streets are so dirty. Maybe I've just been spoiled by the relatively clean Belgian and New Zealand streets, but Amsterdams streets were shocking. Have to see it to believe it. I concluded that the reason for this can be attributed to just about the whole city getting high, getting the munchies and heading off to the closest fast food joint (joint, haha get it get it get it???). Once the trash cans are filled the gutter is apparently the next best thing. So much weed merchandise in the tourist shops as well. Think of any touristy gimmick that you can buy. They probably have the same thing, except the weed version. Like actually.

The sex. Well, I can now say, I went to Amsterdam, and I went to the redlight district. Found it pretty strange. The prostitutes are all standing on display in windows down the street. Talk about window shopping eh.  They have loads of 'live pornos' in between all the prostitutes as well. A slightly odd feeling to walk down a street knowing that there are people all around you having sex - and some are being watched! Oh, I went to the sex museum. One of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Glorified porn from way back. People keep telling me how much more conservative things were back in the 50's... I think not. Those horny oldies.

Elise is a bitch.  a lovely person.


The culture. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "Thank god, finally, the exciting stuff!" Boy do I have a treat for you guys... Well... I'm afraid its going to be a bit of an anti-climax, because the museums I saw were amazing, but not exactly the kind of stuff that translates well into blogging. So I'll just say that I went to the Rijksmuseum, the Van Gogh museum and the Anne Frank museum (the house where they hid). Without going on about it too much, (you can relax, I really am not going to ramble about it) the Rijksmuseum was by far the best - the history had me sold pretty much. They had old weapons on the display. God. The things I would have done to own them. Terrible things. Disgusting things. But it would be worth it.. Probably.

While I was there we went to the Hard Rock Cafe. It was really good - always get such good service there. I mean, you actually get the impression that the waitresses like you. Maybe they were just smiling because they spat in my food or something.Still, you come out of that place feeling like you've had a good time you know. Plus the food is good, and the prices weren't too bad by European standards. The music is always pretty decent as well - although at one point they had the Ting Tings on, which really lost them some credibility. They still came out pretty well though.  - Got some merchandise as well. I got a shirt which apprently confirms for all observers that I have, indeed, been to the Hard Rock Cafe in Amsterdam .Despite the cynical tone of that last sentence I actually think its really cool- I mean if you're going to get a Hard Rock shirt, where better to get it from right? (Its a rhetorical question but if you genuinely have a better place then let me know, I'll make it my life ambition to but a shirt there.. I'll think about it anyway..)

Ah yes, the John Malkovich play. Firstly, I have to correct myself, its called the Infernal Comedy, not the Divine Comedy as i previously stated. Back to impromptu and highly acclaimed reviewing. Generally pretty interesting.  The play essentially could be divided into two sections - the bits with John doing his thing (it was essentially a one man show so only he spoke), and these two chicks who sung opera when thy felt the burning desire. My problem was that they felt the burning desire way too bloody much. I like to consider myself as vaguely cultured (don't laugh ok), but 10 - 15 mins of unintelligible opera is simply too much when nothing else is happening. The John Malkovich part was great. He acted incredibly well - I actually found it  little unsettling as I struggled to tell where John Malkovich ended and his murderer character began.

That's all for my update, wishing you all well. I feel lik I should be singing out with some profound statement or amusingly altered quote but my mind is empty at present so you're being spared... for now...

So long fair people