Growing up with love

An ode to Karen
Karen is in love with me.

How do I know this you might ask? How can I possibly have the arrogance to assume such a thing? Well she just threatened to invade some fairly intimate parts of me with a pen for starters. Parts I would rather leave unblemished from what she assures me would be a highly traumatic invasion.  This metaphor in mind I'm now determined to coin the term "I'm gonna go Napoleon on your ass".

Not exactly what I would call a silver lining, but I digress.

Ultimately, judging by her passive aggression (directed strongly in my direction) I can only conclude that she's completely, irrevocably in the deepest kind of love with me: Hate-love.  You know the kind. Its the kinda thing everyone gets when they're in primary school and have no real idea how to interact in a nice way. I've never really understood fully how this works, but their next option seems to be making their chosen love-victim's life a world of pain. I mean where is the logic!?

Banality
Thankfully as we grow older the options seem to open up a bit. A great highway AKA 'the middle road' evolves. It is at this point in our lives that we begin to have long mundane conversations with the opposite sex purely because by this stage we've realised that physically assaulting them gets you sent to the naughty corner. Make no mistake, I don't mean a good kind of naughty corner. (The kind of naughty corner which is accompanied by a wink everytime you say it. The kind of naughty corner every guy with a hot teacher has fantasised about. Sadly its also the kind of naughty corner which very rarely exists in any place outside of those fantasies... My schooling career aside...  Ahem...) In any case, we graduate to this awkward stage of conversation while our social skills are given time to slowly march on in what is hopefully the right general direction.


This stage is probably the most boring time of our lives as far as relationships are concerned. I mean, at least the physical assault and name calling gave some kinda an adrenalin rush right? (Although interestingly enough many in long term relationships get right back into that stuff... talk about full circle eh)

Mixing it up.... and ending up right back where we started
For a lucky few, there is the third stage, the stage where you can combine being boring, exciting and throw in just a bit of friendly violence just to keep the passions high. I mean friendly violence is healthy right? Right??

Jasmin is cool. Cause she keeps hitting me as well. In fact during this entire blog I've been violated by her bottle. In the face. Use your imagination. Something to consider...